Cerinian Apopcalypse
by Timuron
Summary: Cerinia, a planet populated by a blue vulpine-like species. Cerinia is known for it's huge attractive powerful men. However, an unfortunate few do not fall into this category. Follow Tofu ,the sickly green-furred Incel, and see how he just might doom the planet.
1. Chapter 1 The Lake

It was a beautiful day outside. The pink sun sprayed Cerinia with with a warm and pungent feeling. It was so pervasive in fact; one could feel the photons go through their clothes and embrace their most sensitive body parts. The dark, heart shaped leaves of the native flora consumed the light intimately as they slowly bobbed in the air.

The black, purple, and blue fronds of the palm trees shaded the onyx water of the lake, which was massive both in size and popularity among the denizens of the area. Its shores were lined by cerulean colored vixens, each with sandy melons and roasting peaches. The water was the playground of the men, huge canine beasts with taut muscular flesh and juicy hard pecks the size of pancakes. The Cerenian truly was the most sexually dimorphic animal within a hundred light years.

The men pulverized the water as they murdered the lake's wildlife, played manlyball, and fought over who had the biggest merchandise. The vixens just laid at the edge. Some of them were doing their nails, others were reading magazines. However, most of all the vixens liked to gossip, spreading horrible rumors about each other.

"Macy over there, the Vixen with the horrid furcut," Stacy told Lacy.

"Yeah?! Yeah?!" Lacy replied.

"Macy gets a kick out of-," Stacy said with her hears back, cutting herself off then finishing her sentence with a tiny whisper in Lacy's ear.

"No!" Lacy wagged her tail as she inhaled the bad news.

"That's not all," Stacy complained.

"Oh?" Lacy scooched her sunburnt hide closer.

"She asked me if I could convince my Chad to… go with her and her Brad for a night!" Stacy whispered with rage.

Lacy then screeched at the top of her voice getting the attention of several others.

"And she only was offering to pay 20 yips, so I was like 'fuck off bitch!'!" Stacy told her.

"Oh man! You go vixy!" Lacy yipped.

Macy glared over from the end of the swimming area and got up, sand dribbling from out of her bikini top.

Stacy and Lacy gasped in terror.

Macy stomped over like a powered-up anime hero. "What the fuck are you saying about me, you little bitches?! I'll have you know that I do not masturbate, and I never told you to tell Chad to do anything!"

Lacy glanced down and felt a very warm wetness manifest in her bikini bottom. "You too have fun with this without me, I need to take a little dip," she said as a cover up. She got up and quickly dashed off into the water with the men.

Macy was staring at Stacy with such intensity that it felt like Macy was burning a hole in her.

"Well…wh-what do you want?" Stacy whimpered like a sore loser.

"You are going to apologize, and admit you were spreading a lie," Macy asserted.

"…and if I don't?" Stacy pondered.

"I will take a fist full of sand and shove it so far up your coochie that when you have kits the parenthood test will say that the father is the sandman," Macy gargled furiously.

Stacy sat for a moment then screamed. "Chad! Chad! Macy is going to violate me with the sand!"

A huge blue cerinian man shot up from under the water looking sternly at the shore. "The sand?!" He bellowed in shock as he swam like a bullet through the dark lake water.

Macy looked over seeing the big fanged monster zooming towards the shore and panicked. "Brad, come help me here!"

Another huge blue cerinian man erupted from under the sand behind them. "I'm here."

"Pulverize these two festering mange fests into smithereens baby!"

"Can do!" Brad bellowed as he prepared to smash Stacy's face into nothing

Just as Brad's fist was about to hit Stacy, Chad blasted out of the water and trapped Brad's fist in his maw, mutilating it with his big fat dagger like teeth.

Brad screeched in low pitch as he was yanked back into a dune by Chad. He heard a disgusting pop as his arm was dislocated.

Chad landed face first into the dune while Brad was bashed back first into the ground.

"I give up! I give up! Let go!" Brad cried.

Chad popped his head out from the dune and let Brad's hand out form his maw.

Brad's finger was almost completely split open, dark blue gunk oozed out. He could almost see his bone!

"You have failed to protect my honor, I'm leaving you," Macy told Brad as he sat staining the sand in extreme pain. She walked off shaking with ass with sass.

"Let's get some ice cream!" Chad suggested to Stacy, sun shining on her fur perfectly.

"That sounds like afterlife honey!" She agreed.

Brad was left alone next to the dune sobbing as if he had just been castrated. None of the other cerenian men or vixens paid any attention. This happened every day to at least one poor sap. Sympathy for others was also considered a fairly emasculating thing on Cerinia at the time. Despite this, someone or something was still watching him as he stained a frowny face in the sand with his wound.

In fact, it was in a lake beach bush nearby from which Brad was being watched. It was a very ugly and sickly bush. The bush was a disgusting shade of green, very abnormal for cerinian plant life. Inside the bush was something even worse. He was a small decrepit man, highly abnormal for men on Cerenia. He also had mis pigmented fur as well, an eye bleeding lime green. Lime green fur was also very uncommon among cerinians. His putrid fur color could never compare to the sexy royal blue that any healthy cerinian of either sex would sport.

He saw Brad, Brad's defeat was so humiliating that it brought him down to his level. Now that Brad was a loser this man could talk with him. He finally decided to announce his existence to this Brad.

"Hey," a tiny weak male voice screeched from the bush.

Brad heard this and jumped! "What?!"

"Over here big guy." The voice repeated itself from the direction of the bush.

Brad looked around cluelessly "…God? Is that you? You sound like a little bitch."

"I'm not god or a little bitch," He said. "My name is Tofu."

"W-what kind of name is that?" Brad said staring at the sky.

"Look, I'm in the bush," Tofu whined.

Brad froze for a second thinking, then looked down at his crotch and inside his speedo.

"No! The plant! The rare green lake beach bush!" Tofu pleaded for attention.

Brad looked over at the plant. "Oh, I see."

"Yep," Tofu yipped.

They sat in akward silence for a moment.

"So come out," Brad said.

"That's not a good idea," Tofu replied.

"Why not bro?" Brad asked.

"I- uh," Tofu struggled.

Brad walked over and stuck his big ass head into the bush.

Tofu gasped.

"Hah!" Brad yelled in his face. "What a joke! What are you supposed to be?"

"A…a man?" Tofu guessed.

"Of what species? You come hear from Murs or something?'' Brad laughed.

"I'm just a cerenian with some bad genes," he tried to say calmly.

"Whatever, what did you want to talk about anyway dude?" Brad interrogated.

"I just saw you got dumped," Tofu said.

Brad loomed over the bush in a menacing T-pose. "What's it to you?" he barked.

"You…you think that Macy could be my type maybe?" Tofu said with his tiny face then gulped.

Brad stood for a second with an expression of pure disgust then grasped the little mutant's neck.

"I- I'm so-or-oreeeey!" Tofu gurgled as he was held out of the bush and into the air.

"Go home little green man!" Brad taunted. Without warning Brandon yeeted Tofu with all of his might into the forest.

Tofu screeched as he tumbled through the air and was slapped by countless tropical fronds. He must had landed about 100 yards away! He landed ass first into a ditch, fracturing his tailbones into many pieces. The blackness of the small stream hid his diseased teal hemolymph as it came out in chunks from his new tail wounds. Tofu breathed deeply to avoid both the physical and emotional pain he was experience.

The truth is that he was at the lake in that bush watching Macy, Lacy, Stacy, and all the other 'Acies. He had known many of them since he was young. He had always thought he would marry one someday, but it seemed like they all either hated him, were indifferent to him, or didn't remember him. _The reason why he belittled me so just now, and threw me into the woods, _he thought to himself;_ It's the same reason why I can't mate. What's the use in asking anymore? I've known this for a long time._

His psychical pain went away after about an hour of moping in the ditch, after that he could then get up and crawl out of the ditch. He looked at his cracked analogue watch. It was almost about three sessions past highest light. "Damnit, I almost forgot the meeting at the restaurant is today! I'm a terrible club president!" He reminded himself in shock." He promptly scurried away from the ditch and into the thickness of the undergrowth.


	2. Chapter 2 Loser Shack Jr's

It was an absolutely hot ass day in town as well. The soupy Cerinian air grasped the clothes of its denizens. Nothing here stayed dry for long. Most canine species would be disgusted and killed by the powers of Cerenia's air, but the Cerenian foxes were an exception. All the Cerenians loved to go for walks out in the steam with their moist denim outfits on, all except for Tofu.

The thick weather invigorated the deep energies of the Cerinians, but for Tofu it did nothing but weaken and crush him. Tofu had taken a long time since birth to get used to the awful fat smelly fart cloud surrounding this awful world. It felt as if a muscle gut bara dad had decided to rest his ass on the tiny diseased man's shoulders for the rest of eternity.

The small green mutant sprinted through the alleys, hoping he wouldn't be noticed again.

He only had ten minutes to get to the street he thought the place was at. _What was the name of the place again? Was it… Loser Shack Jr.'s? I think it was, _he tried to remember. As he was distracted by that train of thought he ended up tripping.

The alleyways in this town were always full of garbage. Despite how much the vixens go on and on about their life loving religion, the Cerinian people were wasteful and trashy. He had tripped on a giant thong made from the fibers of the no-no tree; it was stuck on his foot! Tofu fell face down onto some alpha male's discarded fish liver casserole. Tofu vomited on to it. He tried to get back up and get his foot out of the old crusty abomination, but his little verdant paws kept slipping. He fell back onto his back and cut his ear on a giant nail clipping.

He moaned as he ached himself back up, finally getting off the condom from his left foot. He then looked around and realized that he'd seen this alley before.

"Oh god…please don't make me have a flashback," He whined to himself.

_ It was about 7 years ago, so Tofu would had been around twenty years old. He was so happy because he had finally gotten a job at some bar that used to be in this alley. It was a job where he'd just clean up when the place was closed so he wouldn't have to worry about people bullying him. He was going to start the next day._

_ He ran out the back door of the bar, into the alley with a piece of paper in his hand. He was going to find and tell his friends about the good news. Then he saw her. It seemed liked another vixen at first, but then he saw that one of her ears was smaller than the other and was green. It was his time to shine! This woman was all alone it seemed, and what healthy Cerinian would love her? It had to be him! He walked over to her._

_ "Hey, are you okay ma'am?" Tofu said looking up to her._

_ "I'm fine, are you lost little boy?" she asked kneeling down with a smile on her face._

_ "I am lost, in your eyes," he chirped back._

_ "So… you aren't a child?" she asked, her green ear dangling._

_ "No, I'm just a little short. Um… could I hear your name?"_

_ "My name is Waluigina, Waluigina Tima."_

_ "I- I'm Tofu… Tofu deSoy." He stuttered back to her._

_ "Can I help you Toffee?"_

_ "Oh, I guess sort of…uh…you want to accompany me to something sometime?"_

_ "No thanks," she frowned. "I know what you're doing, you saw my ear and thought you had a chance."_

_ "W-what? No, I- "_

_ "Don't lie. Now, you better get out of here befor- "_

_ Suddenly, a pickup hovertruck pulled up into the alley. The back was full of used fishing spears, with still twitching fish. Fish lives didn't matter so it was okay to kill them, their blood isn't even blue._

_ Anyway, the truck was old and ugly. It was beat up and full to the brim with two shapes of giant evil Cerinian men. The first one popped out from the driver's seat with a dramatic cue. He was at least eight feet tall and he was made out of pure muscle. His big fat pectorals were the size of yoga balls! On his bare chest was a huge scar that spelled out "OUCH". The only thing the lake sweating muscle bound brute was wearing was some jeans turned into shorts that were metaphorically screaming in pain from trying to contain him. The monster had a bugle in his pants nearly as big as Tofu's whole body!_

_ "I- '' Tofu tried to comment but was interrupted by the eruption of a second behemoth._

_ This one emerged out the other door with a fish in his mouth. His muscles were exactly as huge as the other's but on top of that this one was a real fatass! His six-pack barley left an impression on his bulging blimp of a beer gut which looked like it could hold 3 vixens and 5 incels. His gut fur had a giant tattoo that read "RAD". It looked too wide across and too deep to have come out from that dinky little truck. He wore nothing but a 7XL bright speedo that hugged his bulge and giant ass so tight that it looked like he was a balloon. He had to have weighed at least one ton._

_ "Walugina, who is this… thing?" The first one bellowed._

_ Tofu's floral shorts turned yellow._

_ She turned to Tofu. "This is why I told you to leave…these are my boyfriends. They just go by Ouch and Rad."_

_ "We're brothers, and we agreed that this green ear vixen is our shared property!" Rad, the second one, banged his gut in intimidation._

_ 'Oh… okay…I'll just go the- "_

_ Before Tofu could go, Ouch grabbed him by his tail, nearly ripping it off._

_ "Ouch! I said I'm going dude!" Tofu screeched._

_ "No, you aren't, you tried to get love off our girl! Now we're going to teach you a lesson!" Ouch said, dangling Tofu in front of his face._

_ Ouch and Rad got closer to the tiny target and cracked their knuckles._

_ "No…No! NO! NOO! GAHHHHHHH!" Tofu screamed._

_ That awful day, they pounded and squished him so much that he looked like a little diseased pancake for a week. The injuries were too awful to allow him to work and he lost his job that he just got._

As the flashback faded away, Tofu shivered. He stared around the alley. He saw where that woman was seven years ago, where they pulled up and crushed his dreams in a literal sense. The thong he stepped on would had been a perfect fit for those monsters, but then again it would fit almost any other Cerinian man as well. He never could understand why the vixens liked them this big. The world was just too mentally ill for his humble little pants snake. It wouldn't matter for too much longer though, he had very something special to tell his little club today. He rushed out of the alley, still stopping to vomit into a trash can.

-X-

Loser Shack Jr's was actually a fairly decent place despite its name. The old stone building used to be the old church of life the vixens used before they built a new one in the rec center. Flags and pennants adorned all the walls. Countries, planets, teams, sexualities, other things, there were flags for everything. The owner, Abnorman, was a vexillologist whatever that means, but he was also one of only a small handful of other incels in the entire state. In order to keep the place popular among normal cerinians without all those gross genetic diseases, he hid away in his office during hours.

Tofu opened the door and tried to run through to the office without getting attention. He was stared at by a few people but luckily, they weren't too interested in harassing him at the moment. They shrugged and finished eating. Their food was more important.

He shut the office door behind him and sighed in relief. "Sorry I'm late guys, I had some issues at the lake beach."

"Ah! Tofu! It's fine," Abnorman said.

Abnorman was… an interesting sight to behold. He was blue and had normal height, he even had some muscle tone. However, what made him an incel was his three ears, no nose, four eyes, no tail, and nineteen nipples. He also had a lisp. The poor man's father was also his half-brother. He was originally from a pretty fucked up town somewhere west of here.

"Good! Good that it's fine, nice to see you eye to eye… to eye." Tofu was still adjusting to Abnorman level of incelness.

"Anyway, I got the other incel around here to come! Meet Sherman!" Abnorman introduced Sherman.

"'Sup," Sherman said.

Sherman appeared to be not too extreme, he had normal fur color and didn't have any deformities. He just wasn't big enough for the vixen's taste.

"Hi Sherman," Tofu said.

Sherman looked at Tofu's injuries. "What happened to your…. everything?"

"The usual stuff you know. Bullies and garbage."

"Ah, I see," Sherman replied in a low-key manner.

"What's our first order of business Tofu?" Abnorman asked, all of his eyes blinking out of sync.

"Let's just start with sharing our current relationship with the vixens and alphas," Tofu instructed.

"Well, as for me. I'll never be able to bring my face out there of course. So, nothing new," Abnorman frowned, his voice echoing inside his lungs.

"No offense, but I was expecting that you'd say that," Tofu was frank. "As for me, I was just spying on the old acie's from my high school days. They're all out of my league and acting terrible. I got beat up by one of their ad's."

"Rough man, I'm on the run from one of the most terrifying men I've ever seen," Sherman stated like it was nothing.

"Is it the Exterminator?" Tofu asked.

"I didn't see that movie, anyway, don't worry guys. He'll never find me."

"So, how about this you two? We go to my house tonight and I show you a little secret of mine that I think can help us," Tofu said without any evil undertones what so ever. He smiled like an angel.

"Sure!" Sherman agreed

"I'd love too as well but how the heck are you going to get my inbred ass over there?" Abnorman complained, his ears making wet clicking noises.

"Just wear this black cloak." Tofu threw a black sheet at his face.

"Thlanks," Abnorman muffled.

Tofu pulled out a gray old tattered set of blank paper from his pocket and pricked his finger with his tooth. He bloodied the tip of his index paper and used it to write out the address of his place to hand out.

"Why are you doing it like that?" Sherman asked.

"Oh, I just use my blood to write so people know it's me. My signature teal is unique!"

"Okay I guess…" Sherman took a paper.

It read "house 444 on route 666, come after dark tonight."

"Oh! and before you all go, I made some refreshments! They're over in the closet next to the back door of the building. Tofu, I still don't understand why you didn't enter through there like Sherman here."

"I…I've just had enough of alleys for today. That memory came back up again," Tofu sighed.

"The one where you thought you were going to get same-hearted coochie, but instead got angry fists all over your body?" Abnorman inquired. "I hate that one."

"Yep, it's that one," Tofu sniffled.

"Man, that sucks. Life is just too hard for us," Sherman resonated.

"Don't worry you two. It will all change soon, just remember to come tonight."

"Yes," Abnorman and Sherman replied, Abnorman sounding like two people in one.

"Anyway, it's mountain sour fruit ade just like you like, Tofu. There's also various chips from practically evert root vegetable on this planet."

"Thanks so much Abnorman, and welcome to our club Sherman."

Tofu got up and acquired a glass of the sour sweet green fluid. He sipped it to make the pain all go away for a second. He couldn't wait for tonight. It was time.


	3. Chapter 3 Tofu's Place

The hot, soft, pink sun of Cerinia was tired from beating down on blue furry flesh all day. It drifted down slowly behind the jungled horizon beyond the town. It would disappear for the night as it always did, off the edge of the planet. Many Cerinians at the time thought their planet was flat after all, despite the say so of all the vixens who regularly went to space.

As the sun left, the hot steamy air cooled faster than one could say "well that escalated quickly". Its embrace shrank away to give a colder shoulder to the lifeforms of the world. The steam immediately turned into droplets and slammed against the ground. The atmosphere was devastated after being dumped by the warmth and started to rumble. Dark purple butt-shaped clouds began to take up the dimming sky, blocking the fat, lame, and pale moons. Soon the sour and salty tasting tears of the sky started to pelt the ground. The dark multicolored palms opened up their flowers which thrived in the putrid downpour.

From the outside, Tofu's house didn't seem like much. It was small. Its walls were made from white clay, and the roof was made from dead brown foliage laid on wood. It had no windows and contained only a few rooms. The door was made from a piece of scrap metal.

Tofu was sitting on the floor, his feet under misplaced bed covers. He was watching television as the storm yelled at his house.

"This nightly storm doesn't seem to be anything special," the dainty frowning anchorvixen said as she smothered her face in some hideous neon colored make up.

"That's right Daisy! Another typical seasonal storm! What did they say its make up was again?" a giant swole cerinian fox man replied back to her. He barley fit in his tuxedo, but it seemed he liked it that way.

"Oh, about fourty-three musk. It's mating season after all," she pouted as she put the red oily sludge that she called lipstick.

"Oh yeah! I bet half of that musk is from me alone!" the anchorman flexed back at her, while rubbing his nipples through his tuxedo.

"Oh…I guess Chaddeus," _cough_, she replied. Daisy blushed all over.

"Now…what else?" Chaddeus gloated back as his seat cracked. "Pollen levels? Carbon Monoxide levels? I love it when they mix together, it makes my fruit trees grow stronger tasting fruit."

"Daisy is so hot…" Tofu said to himself while watching.

Suddenly the TV shut off.

"No! I was just about to get it on!" Tofu screeched. He ran behind the TV to look at its tank. "I could had sworn I just refilled it with light blue magic fluid yesterday!"

Just as he was about to run to the closest to see if there was some spare fluid next to his pile of used napkins, there was a knock at the door.

"Tofu! It's us! Please let us in!" Abnorman echoed through the door. "Me and Sherman are getting covered in rain and musk!

"The musk is horrendously high tonight. Why doesn't any of it ever smell like our musk?" Sherman gagged.

"I don't know but it's fourty-three percent tonight and rising," abnorman said blinking irregularly at his tablet with two of his eyes.

"Fourty-three percent! It's usually only like thirty-three! It must be all those hormones in all that new junk food those freaking cows like to eat!"

"I'm coming guys! Just let me refill my television!" Tofu fox-chirped with glee.

Sherman and Abnorman stood ankle deep in the acrid buildup of the ''rain'' coming down from this planet's cursed sky. Eventually the door finally opened. The smell came off of them and smacked Tofu's nose.

"Ah god! It is bad tonight!" he choked.

"To think the vixens like this," Sherman snarled.

"I will admit that I don't really understand it either. Now, let's just go into the kitchen for now. I have some foods that help neutralize the musk so that you can breathe without gagging every other minute."  
"Thanks, Tofu! Way to think ahead!" Abnorman applauded.

Tofu walked them to the kitchen, shutting the door behind them. A dinky blinking lightbulb on a string hung above the small isolated and dim ''kitchen''. It was really just a room with a table and a refrigerator. It looked more like a teacher's lounge than someone's actual kitchen. On the table was various Cerinian smell neutralizing food like broiled red gum squish and pickled wee-wee nose.

"Where did you get these? You obviously didn't make them in here," Sherman questioned, rubbing his little blue goatee on his nimble lanky body.

"You'll see I guess, just eat now while it's still hot. There's also some more green fruit juice in the fridge," Tofu added.

"You seem to take comfort in other green things, Tofu," Sherman inquired.

"Of course, they make me feel like less of a freak. I wish there was a planet out there where there was more green," he sighed.

"Maybe you are from another planet?" Abnorman guessed.

"Yep! I'm from Murs, and you're from Atlantia," Tofu laughed and joked.

"Sorry, that was a dumb idea," Aborman laughed back.

Then all three of them laughed. They all sat down and enjoyed their meal. Slowly the musk faded away from the room. The storm outside however continued to rage on and become more severe.

The broiled gum squish was hot, spicy, and had a weird texture that was crunchy and squishy at the same time. It tasted overwhelmingly like burnt artificial cherry flavor. The wee-wee nose had been taken out of its pickling jar earlier that day after several years of fermentation. It was charred very lightly and drowned in salt. It tasted like something indescribable.

Tofu and Sherman couldn't help being distracted by the way Abnorman ate. His 45 non-matching teeth made clicking and popping noises whenever he chewed. There was one tooth way in the back of the mouth that he had to keep covered with a piece of rubber, otherwise it would create sparks like a piece of flint.

"What is it?" he asked them.

"Nothing, you just… look really nice today," Tofu said.

"Yeah! Uh, did you get new contacts?" Sherman asked while sweating.

"Just my purple eye," Abnorman replied.

They nodded and tried to get back to eating. After about fifteen minutes or so, the three walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Did you guys enjoy the dinner I made?" Tofu asked his two fellow incels.

"Yes!" They both said in tandem.

"Good, now for what I called you here for," Tofu said while rubbing his little verdant paws together and smirking.

"You mean, you didn't call us over just to have dinner?" Sherman questioned.

"Of course not! I'm too shy to do that for no reason! Come follow me!" Tofu led them to his bedroom.

"Tofu, no, I know we can't get any coochie, but that doesn't me we have to resort to each other!" Sherman barked.

"Sherman, why would you assume that ?!" Abnorman reprimanded.

"Yeah, that's not why you're hear at all! Ew!" Tofu was offended. After he shook it off, he picked up the bong-like lamp next to his bed in a very specific way. This pulled a string from a whole in the table.

"Well cum toe jam!" an electronic voice resounded.

"What the?!" Sherman shouted.

"Sorry, there's still a few bugs in some systems here," Tofu explained as his bed retreated into the wall, revealing a set of stairs into a secret basement. "If you men are scared you can hold my hands."

"No thanks," Abnorman and Sherman said in tandem.

The three walked down into the cold dusty and gritty basement. A set of four blinding blue lights turned on automatically in the corners.

Abnorman felt his eight- and one-half chambered hearts skip a beat from the tension this strange place caused. He grasped Sherman's hand, almost breaking it. Sherman didn't mind, as he was intimidated as well. The droning scraping of the musky rain was duller sounding down there.

"Welcome…to Tofu's facility in anti-chad research!" Tofu shouted as he twirled around in joy. "Mweh heh heh heh!" he chuckled!

"Tofu…y-you're scaring me, but we're willing to give this a chance if you explain what it all is," Abnorman stuttered.

"This? This is our ace in the hole! This facility is where I've been making an epic breakthrough in order to win the day for us! This is how we will get coochie!"

"I see," Abnorman said.

Sherman hid behind him.

"So…what have you been working on to do that?" Abnorman added to his previous statement.

"I've been working on something very very interesting indeed my friends. It's a…biological tool. It will certainly…change the way vixens think about us to say the least. I'd like to keep most of it a surprise."

"A surprise?" Abonorman raised his left eyebrows.

"You don't trust me? After all this time?" Tofu asked.

"Well you kept this lab secret, dude. That's suspicious," Abnorman objected.

"Abornoman, you've always known I was into science though."

"I guess…I'll give this a chance," Abnorman hesitated.

Sherman simply nodded at Tofu, too nervous to actually say anything.

"Good…but I'll need something from you sir," Tofu said.

"What could that possibly be Tofu?"

"I need a stock of blank genetic virus, but I never could get the equipment to make any. They don't sell blank genetic virus either. I have the code; I just need the virus coat to put it in."

"Well, where am I supposed to get that?!"

"Abnorman, be patient. I know exactly where. I'll come with you to get it. We're stealing it!"

"What?!"

"We're stealing it from a lame bimbo Stacy scientist named Diamond."

"Oh…I guess It's okay then so long as we don't get caught." Abnorman sighed in relief. It almost sounded like they were stealing from other incels (if there were any).

"She's been distracted by her brat of a kit and her dumbass husband," Tofu explained. "We can sneak in through her vents into her little lab from the hours of 6pm to 6am on this Saturday."

"…Where is this lab?" Sherman asked, finally talking.

"On the northern edge of town, and I need this before next Friday. It's a small facility she seems to run alone," Tofu explained

''Why before next Friday?" Sherman asked.

"You've forgotten? It's the equinox! The height of the heat! Those sick people will all gather in town square and have an orgy! I want to stop them, and this is how!" Tofu bellowed with his tiny voice.

"Tofu, I thought you said this would get the vixens' attention, not stop the seasonal orgy," Abnorman said.

"It's all connected, just trust me. I'll get the gear, then explain it to you guys in more detail at the lake the night before, trust me."

-X-

Meanwhile on the northern edge of town, there was a small flat warehouse-looking building in the middle of the jungle. The purple fronds of the loves tree wilted and sank under the weight of the naturally polluted downpour that was still going on.

The inside was spacious and echoey, sort of like a high school at night time. Under the loud protection of the metal roof from the rain, another typical looking blue vixen was wrapping up for the night. She did a sort of dumb twerking motion as she stared down at her project. She twiddled her fingers around a sort of dropper, which she used to make a slide to look at under a microscope.

Underneath the scope she saw perfect little hollow virus shells shaped like stop signs. They were even the perfect grayish-blue color.

"Perrrfeckt-AH!" she spat out to herself with overwhelming satisfaction. "I think I've finally done it! Not just that, I've totally outdone myself and all the other scientists at the main lab! Take that Jacy Parkinson!"

She took the rest of the tube up off the table, carrying them to a fridge for safe keeping. "Now, with the right little code we can finally get rid of all those yucky shrimp genes in an egg before it divides! No more incels, and we don't even have to kill anyone! As soon as I get home, I'll call the boss!" She closed the fridge and went to wash her hand, humming contently.

Then, her magiphone rang.

"Oh?" she said as she picked it up.

"Diamond! You said you'd be home hours ago! You said that Crystal could have real breast milk tonight," the magiphone whined to her.

She pleaded "Oh… geez, I'm so sorry Randy! I was making a lot of progress and I jus- "

"Don't say sorry to me, say sorry to your baby daughter! This isn't healthy for her!" Randy interrupted, cradling the little kit in his big warm arms.

"It isn't, I'm sorry, but you think it would be healthy for her to be in the lab?" Diamond asked.

"No, that's why you need to ask for that vacation!" Randy reminded her.

Crystal grabbed Randy's pectoral muscle, wanting milk.

"Oh, baby, you aren't going to find any ninny there. So sorry!" Randy whispered to Crystal.

Diamond heard this, and suddenly felt sick inside. "I've been a bad mother... I'm very sorry to Crystal."

"Let Crystal hear that," Randy said, holding his landflow magiphone up to the little baby kit.  
Crystal grabbed the phone and licked it.

"I'm…I'm sorry Crystal," the vixen said. She teared up.

"Damn it," the little kit bleated.

"What?!" Diamond screeched!  
Crystal started crying after being screamed at.

Randy took the phone back.

"Where did Crystal learn that word?!" Diamond bellowed at her husband.

"Oh…uh…I guess I must have left the tv late at night by accident. She could have heard it from Cyborg Chicken or Family Man," Randy lied through his teeth while sweating bullets.

"If that's true, I'd be pissed off. However, we're Cerinians. I can tell when you aren't telling the truth," Diamond schooled him.

"Not over the phone! It's too indirect!" He defended himself in vain.

"Yeah, but I can also tell that you couldn't have her accidentally hear the tv that had been left on all the way from her crib. She'd have to be on your lap watching it with you!" Diamond ranted back.

"Fine, the truth is that I was trying to fix that broken door in the dining room, but I hit my finger with the hammer, and it hurt really bad! It's not very manly of me but it's the truth and at least I was trying to do something good for you!" he pleaded.

"Randy…why were you using a hammer on a door that is kept in by screws?" Diamond droned in annoyance.

"Oh…da-" Randy stopped himself.

Diamond sighed. "You cursed, I stayed away too late, we're even. I'm going to come home and nurse my baby like you wanted. No cruddy formula tonight. I love you."

"I love you too," Randy replied and hung up.

"What am I going to do with you Randy?" she asked herself. "What is Crystal going to do with me?"

She picked up her suitcase and left her little building, turning the light off on the way out. She had no idea that her place was being targeted. However, what was about to happen to her was nothing compared to what it was leading up to.


	4. Chapter 4 Running Errands

The night had been long and sticky. For hours, the berry-colored trees toiled to get all the excess musk off of them. Tongue-tongue bats suckled on the last flower shafts for the night before they started to close as musk levels plummeted back down. Twicker-twees and woahs resounded from all directions as the vile creatures of the dark hurried to complete their final nightly tasks. The last of the musk caked into the soil and leeched into the smelly black streams.

After a very long deserved rest from its job of tanning hides and causing cataracts, Cerinia's sun reawakened and started to push some of its morning edge above the horizon. The long white blossoms tucked themselves back into their daytime membranes.

A single unfortunate tiny craywolf got pulled into one of these floral membranes. The sun fluid flooded in and promptly digested the poor mammalian invertebrate. It squeed as it melted painfully, leaving behind an empty furry exoskeleton and some bubbles.

The same fate had met with one of the tongue tongue bat's wings. The webbing may have digested, but the bone remained strong and kept the rest of the living being attached to the outside of the flower.

As the pink sky devil's light reached the jungle, it touched the bat. It expressed its pain by emitting a strange cry over and over; "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Steam emerged from its flesh as it twitched. In an instant the bat poofed into nothing but smoky dust, it was dissolved into the atmosphere by the awesome power of the sun! Any nocturnal imps not hidden away by sunrise would be destroyed!

-X-

Meanwhile the town, Lake Beach Town, was also tasting the sun. The roofs shined perfectly. They were perfect just like the inhabitants of the houses. Despite the settlement extended about two miles in several directions away from shore, all the houses were beach houses. Each lawn was exactly two inches tall, and everyone had two cars.

A purple ray, rich in ultraviolet power, pounded through the bedroom window of the Cerulean residence. It reached in and grabbed its solar powered invisible fist onto the face of the exhausted Randy Cerulean. Diamond slept next to him, his fluffy chest shielding her from the morning shine.

"Gunf…gah…" The powerful cerinian todd growled as his eyes tried their best not to open.

The vixen twitched her ears. She turned over and opened her eyes effortlessly. "Wake up Randy, I need to go to work. I need to ask you to do something."

Randy snorted and rolled over. His back toppling onto her and squishing her plump blue melons. Neither of them was wearing anything. Nobody on Cerinia wore clothes to bed.

"Randy! Get off!" Diamond gekkered.

Randy pried open his eyes and jumped off. "Gah!"

Diamond got out of the bed and stood over him. Her tired coochie sagging in pure disappointment. "Randy, I'm going back to work. I need you to take Crystal to the store with you today, as well as anywhere you were planning to go."

He nodded. "No problem. Crystal always makes my errand more fun and innocent. Nobody tries to hit on me when I have her around. They just talk about how cute she is," Randy said and smiled.

"I'm going to go shower and get dressed," she said.

"Okay. I'm sorry if I got huffy puffy last night. I love you," Randy apologized.

"It's fine, I still love you too," Diamond dismissed him, looking only at her magiphone beside her bed. She picked it up and checked her notifications.

Randy sighed to himself as she walked away. "Okay…"

He stood back up. His stone bare ass hid his bulging man sword from the view of the bathroom he looked back at as Diamond shut the door. His thick neck turned back to normal position as he looked down as his sore abs. "Aw, forget it," Randy exhaled as he let go of his clench. His abs rose forward on a modest little flesh balloon. The six-foot-tall vulpine opened the drawer, pulling out a can of deodorant. With a push, a torrent of clear spray rained onto the white and blue pelt of the solid unit. He nearly drowned himself in the stuff. The smells of dried up spit, sweat, and the weak musk of an aging man, all faded away.

A modest white tank top, gray boxers, and long blue jeans; this is what he decided to apply to his taut form today. He didn't feel very sexy, nor did he feel like being sexual. After all, he was going to be spending the day with his child. Finally, Randy applied disinfectant all over his body. He didn't want Crystal to get sick and he felt as if it was a reasonable method to be clean. Fully dressed, fresh smelling, and sanitary. The blue fox man felt like he could face the day now.

-X-

The light returned to shining at full intensity. More alien vulpine beings came out to do their daily thing. A college frat boy strutted in style past the park on the way to his summer job at the humble convenience store. He spent hours that morning styling his fur to make him appear five times larger. He was covered in head to toe with fur spikes, and he had a killer goatee. He wore his work outfit incorrectly. His white pants were cut into shorts. His black shoes were split open by his giant razor-sharp toenails. He wore his white work jacket around his waist like a hooligan so he could show the world his huge pectoral muscles and ripe pepperonis. His center chest fluff puffed out five inches from his chest. To top it all off he had his name tag pinned directly into his flesh to show off his toughness. "Hello, my name is Rick" it read.

Rick was almost to his destination at the other end of the park when he approached a horrifying rival. He was stopped dead in his tracks and did a quadroupletake.

A large orange mower was in the process of killing the purple grass and releasing its hot shredded corpes into the air. It flooded the air with carbon monoxide, which made Cerinian musk much more potent.

On top the mower was a man identical to Rick. The asshole stole his workout routine, his fashion, and his furstyle, but most horrifying of all was his name tag. It was another big Rick, as evidenced through his name tag. It was even pierced through his right nipple.

The mower Rick grinded his mower to a halt as he locked eyes with his doppelganger.

"What the fuck are you doing you fat blue twinkie ?!" the mower fox bellowed down at his equal.

"I'm going to work. What's it to you?" the first Rick snarled at him.

"What it is to me, is that you are a shameless copy of me and you're going to rob me of bitches this Friday!"

"I'm not a carbon copy," the first one remarked.

"Why's that?" the mower man clenched his fist in extreme outrage at the awful fucking copy.

"My dick is bigg-," the first barked but was cut off when the other pounced off of the mower and onto the ground one. One of them broke something as evidenced by the cracking noise that resulted. Neither of them cried out in pain. They couldn't show weakness.

They bopped their big black noses together in anger. Their abs clicked together like legos and their dummy thick pecks kissed.

"You want me to fucking show you my dick! It's definitely bigger," the mower Rick shrieked as he applauded his dick to Rick.

Ground Rick could feel their bulges fighting. "Actually if feels about the same."

Mower Rick gave out a big "Reeeee!" and punched ground rick out from under him. The punch smacked ground Rick's gummy furry muzzle.

They stood up and stared each other down.

Mower Rick smirked at the other's maw, watching the blue sludge come from ground Rick's wound. "Looks like we look different enough now."

Ground Rick sprinted over and clobbered Mower Rick the exact same way. "Not anymore, Dick!"

"My name is Rick, you Dick!" Mower Rick bellowed.

"My name is Rick, you Rick!" Ground Rick snarked back.

"No. my name is Dick, you Rick!" Mower Rick resnarked… then realized he fucked up. "Gah!"

"There's only one way to settle this, Dick," Rick taunted.

"Don't you dare!" Dick gasped.

The rippled ripped giant indigo fox man Dio-walked towards Dick menacingly. **ゴゴゴゴ****-**

"S-Stay away from me… Stay away you Rick!" Dick whimpered as Rick's sudden new powers sucked out the manliness Dick has straight from his scrotum without even touching it.

The giant asshole, Rick, licked his awful bloody chops. "I love hemocyanin in the morning."

Dick screamed as the scene cut away from him to spare the audience of Rick's horrible fantasy. After twenty minutes or so, he came back out from the park and made it to the store. His gut no longer matched the rest of his body, it was big fat and swollen. The balloon of a Cerinian was now twice the size he was before most likely killing Dick. He waddled to the door of the shop, his clothes stained blue. An azure trail of blood followed him.

-X-

Randy rode his crimson bike today. An adorable blue girl kit slept safely strapped into the bike's baby seat. Suddenly, he came to a screeching halt. Crystal woke up and cried.

"W-what happened here?" he shuddered in horror. It was a good thing the baby seat faced backwards, otherwise Crystal would had saw it.

He hid the bike up against the wall as he peered into a window.

A gorged muscleman sat menacing at the counter inside. **ゴゴゴゴ****-**

Someone had been vored. This always happened about once every mating season. The worst part of it all was that male on male vore was legal within fourteen days of the heat height. This Friday was the heat height. At least now he knew that Crystal was safe, he on the other hand could be in trouble if he was mistaken for a single man.

_ Maybe if I went in saying "married, married, married," he'd leave me alone and I could buy what I need. However I don't want Crystal to see this awful truth about our gross planet. I can't leave her alone outside though. I could go to the next town over, but it would take thirty minutes or so on bike and biking on the road through the jungle is dangerous. She could get bitten by a diseased bug or be attacked by the deadly cutsman. Oh gods, what must I do?_

Randy stood there and thought for about five minutes. He looked at the bike basket. When it opened up, he saw a bandana he had left and forgotten. He knew what to do now.

He tied the bandana around the little girl kit's soft face. She gekkered and whined in protest.

"I'm so sorry Crystal, you won't have to wear this too long," Randy said as he put on the baby harness.

He walked in with great hesitation. He looked down at his kit, and then looked at Rick. He coughed "M-married. I'm married. I won't be doing anything Friday, I'm married."

The **ゴゴゴゴ****\- **around Rick subsided. "Oh, don't worry. I'm chill now. I can sense you aren't a threat to my goals."

Randy sighed in relief. "Good, because I didn't want to have to keep saying that the whole time."

"Besides," Rick looked at him, "If you were in the running, I think you'd beat me."

"Aw, that's too nice of you to say," Randy said, pretending this guy didn't just murder someone DeviantArt-style. Randy chuckled in horror and proceeded to the canned goods.

The doorbell rang again. A small green incel fox carelessly stepped into the blue liquid. To him, blood was supposed to be teal, so he didn't notice anything off.

"Heh, looks like someone wasn't careful with their oran berry wine. All that money, wasted," he joked. Nobody acknowledged him. He sighed and walked over to the hardware section.

While Randy was buying canned kit food, canned bread, and canned hopes and dreams, Tofu was buying rope, hooks, and black clothes. One item they both bought though was toilet paper. Tofu actually finished getting his stuff first and threw them onto the counter before Randy was done shopping. Tofu must had had a shorter list.

A rope flung itself up onto the counter.

"Gah! A ghost!" Rick screeched at the counter. "Take all the money!"

Tofu sighed and put his hands on the counter to pull himself up into vision.

Rick banged his fists down and crushed Tofu's fingers.

"Aaah!" Tofu yipped as he fell back down.

Rick looked over, "Oh no…It's a child," he gasped. His goatee dripped some blue gunk onto Tofu's face.

Tofu got himself up and tried to brush off the blue stain. "I'm buying this rope among other things. I'm a paying customer and I don't want to be treated like shit. I'm also twenty-seven." He clenched in pain as he used his ruined hands to put everything else on the counter.

"Hmm… what could you be doing with this. This looks like heist equipment," Rick questioned the little imp.

"And why are you covered in oran gunk?" Tofu snorted.

"Whatever. This will be twenty narks," Rick huffed as he bagged the items and dropped them on Tofu's head.

"Mf!-" Tofu wheezed as he handed over the bill.

As the poor little guy stumbled out the door, Randy approached the counter. Crystal babbled impatiently as she hated her blindfold.

"Calm down baby, we're almost done," Randy reassured as he laid down his basket of jars and cans.

"What do you think that green child is?" Rick asked the busy father.

"Umm… I think it's an incel. However, I don't know if they like being called that anymore."

"Special Cerinians?" Rick proposed.

"I guess," Randy said.

Tofu would huff that bag miles home that day. He probably ripped some tendons, if only someone would have helped him.


	5. Chapter 5 Reconnaissance

In the backyard of Diamond's little setup, deep under the hot pink brushy grass, the afternoon sun danced around on the dirt. Out from a humble hole which only worthless bugs could live, came three unique squiddle-dees. A male, female, and a larva.

The male squiddle-dee pattered its seven legs away from the hole and waved goodbye. "Bye, bye! Work time!"

The other two bobbed their little face-sticks up and down to say goodbye back.

Suddenly a huge patch or swath of cracked green flesh came up over head. They all looked up at it in awe and wonder.

The male propped his head-part up towards the thing and twiddled his several dozen feelers. His big eye-cones focused on the paw that was reflecting in his eye. He said in once confused twitter "Rain, rain?"

The mass plummeted towards him and splattered him into oblivion in a visceral instant. His exoskeleton flattened in on its folds and liquified all of his organoids spraying them onto his family.

The female and larva squeed in horror as a purple jet of gunk painted them. The male's piddles and no-no landed on her face.

Tofu pried his fluffy little paw off from the ground with a juicy squirting sound. "Gross, I stepped on a bug! Worthless little thing!" He then scraped off the remnants by treading the ground, which resulted into two more extreme little invertebrate screeches.

He had marched through the forest again after dropping off supplies at his house. Oozing green cuts abounded across Tofu's kit-like noodles that he called legs. He had brought with him a pair of toy binoculars which he had manually put his reading glasses' prescription into. Alongside him he placed a plastic bag with paper and pencil in it. It laid on the smothered remnant of the squiddle-dee family.

He peered through the glasses at the building that was only twenty or so feet way from him. "There it is! The insidious, evil lab of Diamond Cerulean the vile and cruel Stacy-vixen!" he snarled at the simple gray backdoor without a camera. It looked like the back of some lame office from any old town. "It's locked up tighter than her corrupted mindset! I think I'm going to throw up! I would try to see if it's really locked but it could be electrified or poisoned! If only I brought a glove!".

As he looked out from his pink plastic binoculars, he picked up his bag shaking. He pulled out some paper and a pencil. He huffed and puffed as he scribbled down a crude diagram and doodled notes. The diagram looked like a very plain square with some plants drawn around it. There were darker lines representing where the front and back doors were as well as some windows on the sides.

He inscribed his thoughts onto his mystery stain covered piece of parchment.

_Front, locked. There are some big show-off window-walls, but they would have to be broken. I don't want to break glass. If I got cut, my perfectly adequate body fluids would stand out and identity me as the culprit._

_Sides, no doors. There are plenty of normal windows. One of them was left open, but Its most likely a trap._

_Back, another locked door. This door is probably a trap just waiting to be touched. It would probably fry my body into dust! Disgusting!_

"God, this place is impenetrable!" he screamed, complaining about the building. He was making some very odd assumptions indeed. "Egad! My heist is ruined!" He cradled his face in horror. "…but what if," he paused. "I used that rope I bought to inspect the roof and come through the vents instead? Oh-hoh! Delightfully devilish, Tofu!" He smiled thinking he finally solved the puzzle.

Going home to retrieve the required items, the verdant petite fox man picked up his stuff and darted back into the bushes.

As soon as he left, the non-awesome door cracked open, revealing an azure vixen with stress lines on her face. "Anyone out here? I thought I heard some sort of whining," Diamond asked the forest in a casual vixen yelp. "Anyone?" She directed her curious, slender muzzle in all directions, sniffing the air a little. She closed the door and went back inside.

She let out a huge angry pout. _I swear, those damn sales vixens are starting to freak me out. If they keep trying to talk to me, I'm going to have to call the police, _she thought to herself.

-X-

Baby kit Crystal was fairly happy now that she didn't have to wear that blindfold from last chapter. She chirped and murmured happy fox sounds as her father Randy rode her around on his big black bike.

The air on Cerinia could be much better appreciated when one was moving as fast as a bicycle. The stickiness fades away as one starts biking and all that remains is the serene current of the wind. It was both warm and cool at the same time and there was truly nothing else like it in the universe. Randy always wished he could just keep riding on with his daughter forever.

Of course, he couldn't keep biking on forever. He had to get home and put up the groceries. Even with the natural air conditioning of moving fast, the imported king koopa lymph would spoil and turn into gutter. At least he knew that the blunanas and frubes would be okay with detours.

Getting home with the groceries was much more difficult with Crystal around because he had to take the long way to avoid the red-light district. A little baby kit's mind would be ruined forever if they went through there. Even in the "good" part of town, he would occasionally have to make her avert her eyes from some ne'er-do-wells. She would gekker in protest every time he had to impair her vision with his palm.

It was almost impossible for Randy to fathom that he used to be just like all these sickos just a few years ago. He avoided thinking about it too much, but it was true. It was a shame that along with the expiration date of the groceries, the memories invoked by all these twenty-somethings were the other reason he couldn't bike forever.

They arrived home in the cookie-cutter suburbs. Randy sighed and secured his bike in place.

Crystal looked up at him and snarled, upset that the ride was over. The air stopped blessing them and went back to bringing discomfort now that they were on foot.

"I wish we could keep going Crystal, but these groceries need to be home," he sighed. _I wish the world would be more appropriate for her._

He cradled the kit in one arm, while supporting the milk and fruit in the other. The big warm firm body of her father made her fall asleep instantly.

-X-

It was later that evening, and another musk storm was brewing up ahead in the orange sky. Diamond was frantic in her run out the front door; she didn't even lock it. "Can I beat it? I think I can beat it! Yeah take that you fart cloud! You've made my laundry time hell for too long!" She hated getting caught in the rain not only because of its frequency, but because of the smell as well. If like she could smell all of her old friends from high school masturbating from fifty miles away (which she probably could considering that the musk percent of tonight's storm was said to be a whopping fifty-one percent!).

She slammed the car door with great force as she hurtled herself into her civic. "Can't wait to tell Randy I'm almost done with the bullshit!" she barked as she powered on the engine and floored the zoom pad. The hovercar gargled and buzzed in place before bursting forward with immense speed. The modest grey vehicle soon disappeared at the end of the visible road at what had to be, at the very least, ninety miles per hour!

The beet-colored heart-shaped leaves of the nearby swaying tree revealed a small green figure in black clad ski wear.

"Okay! Reconnaissance mission beginning now!" the little vulpine squeaked as a plume of thunder sounded off in the distance. "Gah!" the thunder frightened him and made him drop his rope and hook out from the tree and back onto the ground. "No!" He reached toward the ground over thirty feet down.

The rubbery brown branch bent and then popped in half like a juicy snap bean. Tofu was sent falling down. "Reeee!" he screeched.

He painfully landed on top of his gear, the grappling hook leaving a small cut in his pelvic region. "Ah! My internal greenies and tealies!" he said as he grabbed into this pocket and slapped an old cartoon Band-Aid onto it. "Now, to the roof!"

In sync with another boom of thunder, the hook clinked onto the edge of the flat commercial roof. "There we go!" Tofu cheered himself on as he placed his children's size boots against the tan brick wall. He was actually a pretty fair climber despite his gross stunted stature. Soon he made it to the top of the one-floor complex and imbedded his fingernails into the cement of the roof's floor.

However, just as he was pulling himself up, a torrent of stick musk rain fell from the sky and punched him in the face! Another sound of thunder went off and he pounded back into the ground. His tail was broken for the fifth time this year. "Graaaaccchhhh! G'meow! Bark!" he yipped irately.

The rain was coming down fast, and puddles were already forming. He struggled to detach his fur from the sticky smelly moisture on the ground. "I smell like I've been living cramped in the crotch of the biggest muscle gut fox on the planet who was been living in a hyperactive greenhouse in the middle of summer for weeks! It's getting in my mouth! Arggh!" he yelled. "At least it will help me stick to the rope better," he sighed as he got himself back up and started climbing again.

This time he had finally made it to the top and nothing was going to push him back down. The was flooding fast. An inch-deep puddle covered the rooftop. It was obvious that the musk content rose drastically from the previous storm! It had skyrocketed! Poking up from the rippling puddle in the down poor appeared to be a hatch of some sort.

"A maintenance hatch for people who need to look into the vent!" He smiled and quickly opened it. He threw himself in and shut himself off to protect himself from the downpour. "This is so much better!"

The sounds of the evil and disgusting storm were now muffled. The pitch-black vent welcomed the incel dearly. Tofu's dim flashlight activated with a soft click. Gentle light reflected off of the long rectangular tube. It was so nice and cool, unlike the hot sweaty liquid above. Tofu almost felt the urge to fall asleep in this little haven. He pulled out the only slightly moist piece of paper from earlier out from under his shirt.

_Roof, roof is a go. Hatch opens to beautiful vent;_ he wrote down his note and drew the vent entrance. He then started to crawl, clanking his knees and paws against the metal. He would almost stand up a little since the vent was designed so that a much bigger Cerinian could squeeze in to look around.

After crawling from where the center of the building was to about the edge, the vent split into only two paths. "This system is stupid simple. She must not deal with too much toxic stuff here. Makes sense considering only one person works here and no one would be here to help in the event of an accident," he concluded. He stopped before choosing a path. He scribbled down details based on his movement.

Tofu decided to turn right. He soon stumbled upon a fan in front of him. It was off. "Uh-oh, a fan. Luckily this model appears to be one where I can simply unscrew this frame around it, and it should fall out of the ceiling… I think." Sine it was off, he tried to shine his flashlight through its blades to get a peak of the room. He even brought his seeing toy.

"I-I…I…uh…hmm…I think this… this is the fucking bathroom isn't it?" he said looking at the shiny white toilet in embarrassment. It was hard to make out, but this toilet seemed to have lots of buttons on it. It must be imported from the Island Kingdom. Tofu frowned in anger. "Why can't I afford a Toiretu nine thousand! I always wanted a singing self-cleaning toilet that operated free of magic! This world is unfair." He scribbled in his notes.

_Bathroom could be great point of entry; too bad I can't steal toilet._

The flashlight revealed that this tube would end soon up ahead, so he decided to turn to the other direction. As he passed the intersection again, the other side of this wing appeared to get bigger and bigger. As he got closer to its end a strong cold wind started to blow into his face. It invaded his nostrils and froze his boogers. His nasal blood vessels cracked open as started filling his nose. "Ouch! Cold! Shit! Back to the intersection! Back to the center!" he wailed as he turned away. The ski mask was no protection at all. "The dumb bitch forgot to turn off the cooling unit. No…not dumb! She left it on for security!"

Once Tofu returned to the loving embrace of the entrance point of the vents, he wrote in anger at Diamond. _The other side of the wing with the bathroom contains the cooling unit, which makes going to that part of the building perilous via vent. It is possible that the place where she keeps the virus coats is under near this hard spot. I hate her! No problem though, bathroom to hallway to lab should be fine…unless there are hallway traps! The crazy weirdo didn't lay these vents over the hallway just so I can't know what's there! Damn her!_

Suddenly, Tofu's pencil lead snapped. "Oops…"

The shocked imp fox todd laid there in the dim flashlight light unsure of what to do now that his trusted pencil was deceased. He hadn't brought a backup with him this time, what a mistake! Now he'd have to keep anything else he found in his memory. His memory wasn't too horrible, so he put his paper and pencil back under his black woolen shirt and turned towards the other wing of the simple vent system.

Beyond the other branch, Tofu once again decided to check out the right side first. Right is right, so left is another word for wrong. He stumbled upon yet another easy-to-remove fan. As the flashlight peeked in, it revealed a coffee maker. "Evil GMO coffee! No, I must not get distracted by the witch's other projects. This room is not the place I'm looking for!"

He shied away from the supposedly evil work room and back towards the last fan he needed to check. As it turned out, he was wrong about the room he wanted to get to being under the cooling unit. As he shined the flashlight through the blades of the last simple cheap fan, the rays illuminated an absolutely awesome sight. A room full of special biotech containers in units made specifically for preserving proteins. This was the perfect place to keep the virus coats he needed, they had to be here. "Gar! If only my pencil didn't break, I could write this down. Calm down Tofu, you should be able to remember this. Using the back door as a reference, this fan should be the lower left one. We will approach the roof from the back, enter through the center hatch thing, go left and then left again. We will climb down; from there we should be able to collect what we need. I could get Abnorman to find the place where the security cameras are based and shut them off if we can get through the hallway. If the system can be deactivated, we can simply exit through a door, if not I'm fine with carrying it all up through the vent but it will be harder. Even if they find out that we were here, I can still get away with this if I assemble the completed viruses fast enough and use them. I think I'm finally going to win!" Tofu rubbed his hands together as he backed up through the vents to get out and get back home.

He scurried toward the center vent hatch. However, when he opened it, a flood of musky water soaked him and dispersed itself into the vent system. "Oh shit! No! No! No!... I'll just leave it open and maybe she'll blame it on the wind," he panicked right before a gust of wind knocked him over. "Yeah, it's probably happened to her before. I'm gonna get lost now!"

Tofu disembeded his hook from the roof ledge and jumped off into a puddle of mud below. The impact into the mud forced him in waste deep. He struggled for a minute until he finally got himself out and splish-splashed back into the bushes. Unaware, he left little paw prints everywhere in that highly impressionable yard

A crack remained in the ledge his hook was in. Water rushed through it from the little musk pond on the top of the roof. While this did cause a significant amount of rainwater to plummet down from his climbing site and pound a stinky hole into the ground, it didn't keep the water from rushing in to the hatch Tofu decided to leave open. The water rushed into the vents and started leaking into the rooms!

Putrid drops inched their way towards a vent. The scooted around in their little beady wet collections on the edge of the opening. As they joined together, they finally broke. A blip of wetness plummeted into the breakroom and onto the coffee maker. More followed until a steady streamlet had started its brutal assault.

The water made its way into the cracks on the top of the machine and let itself in to the posh club of dihydrogen monoxide that was meant for coffee. The musk molecules quickly contaminated the unborn drink, cursing its future user. However, this would not be a problem after all considering the drops that went down the chord toward the electrical outlet. The coffee shorted out and died in vain,

This meant by now that the table underneath the machine was also under attack. The foul liquid came down in triumph over coffee and started to share its obnoxious hormonal impurities with the fine wood. Once the poor table could no longer absorb any more of that swill, the fluid started beading off onto the floor where it could end its journey. From there it joined puddles on the floor, went under the door, and out into the hallway.

The hallway was emptying a network of little baby streams of disgust via the bottom of the back door. There were clearly three invasions, the work room was only one of three victims. In the bathroom, the electronic toilet was screaming in pain. The strange chemicals of Cerinia's natural biosphere were incompatible with its circuits, which were meant only to deal with purified commercial water. As the chrome toilet died in all of its button-filled splendor, it played a dramatic anime extro.

The third room was the worst, it was the all so important research room with the proteins critical to this story. A torrent of sweaty precipitation was taking up the center of the room. This room would had flooded and destroyed our beloved virus coats had it not been for two factors. The door was open so that this advanced indoor rain could exit to the hallway. In addition, science desks and all that jazz always seem to be very tall (they are also always white or black for some reason.). The shelves with the bio containers were safe, even if the water somehow reached them these things were designed to keep protein degrading factors out of its interior environment.

However, even if protein coats were safe, Tofu had just caused a metric fuck ton of visible destruction in his wake without even taking them. He bumbled around and broke everything in the name of reconnaissance! Diamond definitely wouldn't dismiss this as an act of nature… right?


	6. Chapter 6 Water Damage

The Cerulean household had to be the cleanest and safest place in the entire world. Even the air in the house was so light and clean that it was almost like it was imported from another planet. There was absolutely no hint of musk at all stuck to the walls, except for Randy and Diamond's bedroom. The outside downpour of stench was mad at the immaculate order inside and banged against the roof hoping to get through to no avail.

Whisking and scratching noises abounded from the bright white kitchen. The décor took after that of Diamond's little lab out at the edge of town. Randy was cooking a modest meal for dinner.

"Okay, so, I'm scratching the high-iron bacon flavored sticky pan… I've been doing it for… six minutes? It asked for ten, right?" he asked himself as little scratchy grains appeared on the non-heated pan. The cookbook sat staring at him from its yellow stone pedestal.

In the corner of the room stood a blue, red, and yellow play pen containing baby Crystal. "Bdlen!" she yipped at Randy."Bdlem mnlhgshdjbdsfk," she raspberried and mumbled.

"That's right Crystal. Bdlenm minutes!" he joked looking back at the safe kit-proof corner. "Don't worry, after the adult food I'll heat up your kit food."

In response, Crystal simply just jumped up and down purring with a high pitch.

Randy looked back at his pan as he scraped away at the bacon metal.

A vroom ripped past the house, making its way through the walls and bouncing into the blue father todd's ear.

"Oh!" he said as he laid his pan back on the non-activated blue magic fueled oven top. He walked over to the kitchen door to the yard and opened it.

Diamond stood with her coat soaked and ruined with the planet's stench. She felt like an absolutely worthless whore being covered by the musk rain, even if none of those todds got their musk on her on purpose. "Good evening honey," she gestured in mild indirect upset.

"Oh, oh no. I'm so sorry," he said, as he said every storm.

"I could had sworn I had beaten it this time!" Diamond yipped. "It's bullshit! The weather is utter bullshit! I detest mating season!"

"Diamond! Crystal is standing in her pen right over there! What if she heard that and made it her first word?"

"Sorry, you're right, Randy," she pouted as she walked in. As the droplets fell on the white tiles the fresh indoor air was ruined once again and the storm had gotten its way.

"How about tomorrow I finally go buy you an umbrella?" Randy offered.

"Thanks, but no thanks. Those things are absolute hell to clean. I always have to throw them away."

Randy's face soured as Diamond couldn't help but curse. "How is that any different than what you do with your clothes now?" he tilted his head in confusion.

"I guess that's a good point. I'll by myself a new umbrella on the way to work tomorrow," she nodded then proceeded to walk towards the other side of the room to the bathroom.

"Wait, aren't you going to ask what I'm making for dinner?" Randy asked.

Standing there with a glazed look she said "What… are you making for dinner today?"

"I'm making metallic bacon powered hopes and dreams with canned bread sauce," he smiled.

"Oh, fancy I guess?" she smirked. "I'm going to go change."

"That's fair honey, I'll clean the whole house again after dinner," he sighed.

"Thanks," she sighed as well. The door closed behind her. She stomped down the dim wooden hallway leaving a liquid path behind her. Another room had been ruined.

Suddenly, a small magi-lectric shock buzzed in her stuck-up scientist panties. Her magiphone had shorted out while ringing.

"Ouch! What's this?" she yelled. She grunted as she pried it out of her sticky pocket and stuck it up against her face. "Hello?"

"Dr. Cerulean, are you home?" a formal voice gargled and buzzed through the speaker.

"Yes, I just got home. Is that you Daniela?" she grumbled.

"Yes. Her majesty's court wants to know if those embryo improvement viruses are finally finished. The deadline is in two weeks."

"Almost, Daniela. The protein jackets have been finished for days now; I just have to finish writing the code for the DNA machine."

"Could you do it know please? We need to get to mass production within the season. The project begins at the year's close. They've even already decided on the pamphlet design!" the caller whimpered.

"Jeez! I'll type it up tomorrow! Ye gods! Uh!" Diamond Cerulean snapped at the audacity of the other vixen.

"In the morning?" she bleated.

"Yes, the morning! I'll do it before lunch Daniela!"

"I'm sorry the queen has just been really putting pressure on me. If this project is a failure, I could be spayed for letting down her ideas. I- I could throw off her groove!"

"No, she won't, no you aren't going to, やれやれだぜ" Diamond quipped to herself in complaint.

Daniela abruptly hung up, cutting her off.

"Damnit," Diamond bickered to herself. "Oh well, I guess I'll just go ahead and take that shower now." She put down her paw, but her phone remained stuck to her cheek.

"Oh, come on!" she cried. As she painfully ripped off the phone, little sparks danced on her face. "Reee!" she screeched. She walked into the bathroom continuing to curse.

Meanwhile, Crystal whispered to herself "Bullshit."

_-the next morning-_

Unclothed, Diamond woke up strewn out on the floor of the shower. After running all night long, the water falling into her coochie had finally become cold. She went from limp to nimble within a nanosecond as she realized her situation.

"No! No! No! I feel asleep in the shower again?! This can't be happening again! It's happening again! That dumb ass Daniela is going to flip her lid if it turns out I overslept! She might even cut herself and blame me for making her do it!" her muzzle vomited up scary words and what ifs. Frantic and hissy, the vixen lifted herself from the floor and strapped a towel around her waist. She broke open the door and sprinted into the house's main corridor.

"Randy! Randy! Randy! Honey! Where are you? Why didn't you wake me up?!" her vixen scream rang through the hall. "What time is it?!" She ran towards the bedroom, breaking down another door.

Randy had still been asleep. He peeked out of the mess of covers like an actual fox peeking out of a den. His face was semi-scared by the outburst, "It's…It's five in the morning." His sleep was ruined, and he had been made very sad.

"Oh…" Diamond mumbled as she just realized the lack of morning rays coming through the window. "Sorry."

"I know, you fell asleep in the shower again. I've told you that scrubbing out that gunk is fatiguing. Not that you could do anything about that."

"Oh well…." She sighed. "I guess I might as well have coffee and get to work then."  
_-X at the lab X-_

A dull building lay in desolate silence to itself. The rainforest lab had been ravaged the previous night by a stunted discolored hooligan. It begged to the nothingness that its mother fox would come back and rescue it and its precious contents from the fate of the result of the metaphorical rape. The poor, poor, sad, building.

As the hovercar civic verved up to the façade, the building's tears could be seen gushing from its doorstep. Mother Dr. Cerulean panicked as she was struck by the penultimate realization that something was off. She could feel the difference in the air as if it was hugging the molecules and particles on her body.

"No…No…No! No!...Nooooo!" She galloped and galivanted towards the doors with all the fury that she shoved into her femurs. She nearly tripped as she stumbled into where the puddle started. "Why in the deepest hell of the hell of all hells is a torrent of smelly disgusting seasonal rainwater caressing the lower parts of my precious door!?" she yelped and gekkered. "Fuck!"

As the sleek and stylish front business door opened to allow the special genius vixen to her lab it pissed out a foot of collected water. It rushed against Diamond's ankles and ruined her shoes forever.

"Gah! Water! It's super concentrated! My shoes are history! I've never had a leak this bad! I want to strangle something!" she cried as she felt as if her poor building had been raped by misfortune the previous night more so than anything else had ever been.

She shuffled her dainty sad science paws into the hall to sniff the damage. The awfulness was coming from three rooms and exiting from both ends of the hallway from under the doors.

Diamond darted her little dumb smart head over to her coffee room by the entrance and stomped in. "My breakroom! The torrent assaulted my breakroom! The- "she interrupted herself and counted on her fingers. "Fifth most important thing in my whole fluffy innocent and perfect life off science!". She ran into her sacred break room so her big open eyeballs could feast on the imagery that mocked her so.

Her precious coffee maker was cracked, sparking, burning, and covered in sticky precipitates! It produced a horrible ugly purple smoke.

"No! That was my favorite gift ever given to me! My mother gave me that at my wedding before she refused to ever talk to me again because I questioned her stupid potato-healing sect!" she shrieked for a minute straight.

This sudden vent was sucking the intelligence out of her and making her act more like a pathetic extremist nut head typical of her horrid orb of a home planet! Her head scanned to other parts of the break room to see if other precious objects were totally and utterly and permanently ruined such as her precious machine of coffee production. Nothing else other than that coffee thing seemed to exist in the room apart from precious family photos safely hung on a corkboard.

"This coffee apparatus of mine made up half of this room's content…therefore this room is half ruined!" she bawled. She skipped out of the ruined coffee room. "Wait, what else is ruined? The bathroom!"

As the mahogany bathroom door was broken open by fear, it revealed that the inside was a pool of stench. The rainwater had shorted her imported Island Kingdom toilet and it had vomited up into the rain's metaphoric middle finger to the scientist vixen lady.

"No! That toilet was the fourth most important thing in my whole life! Now the situation has escalated to be significantly worse! That specimen of the brand was a discontented version! Version 3.14 was my favorite and now I can't ever use one again! My butt will have to make contact with the uncultured bullshit toilets produced by the worthless peasants of my cursed homeland! I'm a scientist! I need smart toilets!" she snapped with her voice so loud that the entire universe could feel a disturbance in the feels. "My coochie watches Rick and Morty for god sakes! It needs intellectual porcelain to piss upon!"

The shiny Island kingdom sink was perfectly fine. It stared at her with its shiny gold handles, but she didn't notice. It thought she'd at least show some relief once she saw it, but it was like she didn't care about it at all. The sink shook and rattled at this thought. It was so depressed from the indirect and subliminal neglect of its master that it decided to commit suicide by rupturing itself and spraying its water up into the air.

"No! Now that dumb sink is broken! Why?! Why me?! Why my studies?! Those smug asshole physicists never have this happen to them! Wait a minute…" she had just realized in the middle of her complaint that she hadn't checked on the most important thing in her whole life. More important than her coffee, more important than her precious bathroom appliances for her genius coochie, more important than her non-annoying husband or even her perfectly up to par daughter. "My protein jackets!" she bellowed at the top of her three Cerinian lungs!

She sprinted into the lab room. So many things were contaminated and ruined, so many devices had met the fate of the coffee maker. She looked around about to fucking die from her absolute anxiety attack when all of the sudden she saw it.

Her majesty's experimental viral protein coats for genetic manipulation for the better of blue fox kind..the canister it had been stored in…it…it…was perfectly fine.

Diamond gasped a gigantic sigh of ultimate relief. She was so relieved her hearts almost stopped. "Oh, thank everything," she said with that sigh.

She sank her ass down into the floor's mess and accidentally sat on a broken test tube.

"Ay! My fucking Rick and Morty fan coochie!" she bleated as blue blood sept into the water. "Damn it now I have two periods!" she complained as she stood back up and removed the shards with her glove of research.

Just as she was about to finish brushing off her injury and begin to celebrate, her eyes darted in shock once more. "No, the DNA code writer!"

The DNA coder was melting into a slimy pulsating film that released little sparks of electricity as it fell down into the water.

"Daniela is going to freak out over this…" she gasped as she did a sad walk to the dead machine. "How am I going to tell that…damn twat? Why did the queen have to choose her?"

For another hard minute she looked at the scary defeat. Sure, the protein jackets were still safe, but DNA coders took months to finish and were very rare and expensive on Cerinia. Of course, none of this was her fault and she knew it. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for yet another minute of standing still in the contaminated water under her wet clunky feet.

Some trickling of water could still be heard coming from the ceiling. The doors were open now and the water was subsiding fast, but something still needed to be done about the leak. She couldn't just leave the doors open, could she?

"This is going to sound very stupid and irresponsible to anyone that could possibly be eavesdropping on me, or anyone somehow looking at my existence through a fourth wall, but I think I'm going to have to leave the doors open to keep the water down until I can get someone to fix the leak. Hopefully it won't be long." She walked back out of the lab building and back to her car where she kept some jaundice pages of maghiphone numbers. "Hopefully I can find a repair service that isn't just a sex service in disguise," she tapped her phone and the scene ended.

_A.N.; probably should had added this sooner but shout out to Elarix for helping a lot with the proofreading step of my development process of a lot of (pretty much all) the chapters in this story._


End file.
